You duped me, O LORD

By: Rev. Mr. Nicholas Jones, Class of 2027

“You duped me, O LORD, and I let myself be duped...”

It seemed like a good idea at the time I signed up. What a beautiful way to celebrate the 250th anniversary of America: a Eucharistic procession from the Cathedral to the State House and back. Of course, I hadn't quite planned for the temperature when I committed to participating. And so, on July 1st, when the Heat Index in Providence was 100° and the humidity hovered around 65%, we embarked on our great procession. Suffice it to say, it would have been uncomfortable even in a t-shirt and shorts, let alone in multiple layers of vestments.

As the Deacon that night, I stood behind whichever priest was carrying the monstrance. When the bishop handed the monstrance to my good friend Father Jay Zizza, himself ordained just a few days prior to our procession, I noticed something remarkable. The way the monstrance was constructed was such that, from the rear, you could see the Host through the glass in the middle, but the metal around it was almost mirror-like in its reflective ability. And so as I looked up, I saw my friend Father Jay's reflection surrounding the Sacred Host. The symbolism struck me immediately. Here was this man, who just a few days earlier had been sacramentally conformed to Jesus Christ, our eternal high priest. Now in this moment, the way things were reflecting, I could not look at his face without seeing Jesus. It was a powerful reminder of what my friend had just become, of what God had just done to him.

To the world that still clamors, “show us the Father,” Jesus holds up His priests. To each priest He says, “As the Father has sent Me, even so I send you,” and “He who receives you receives Me, and he who receives Me receives Him who sent Me.”

But what does a priest do? Of course, he offers sacrifice. Every day, he stands at the altar, and God uses him to make present and re-apply the merits of the Passion, Resurrection, and Ascension of Christ, for the benefit of the living and the dead. What an honor! And yet, such a privilege requires the priest to live in accordance with the Mystery he celebrates. "Whoever wishes to come after Me must deny himself, take up his cross, and follow Me. For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it.” Who could dare to offer this august Sacrifice and not be willing to live that same love in His own life? That blistering night in Providence, each priest was invited to remember that by his ordination, he both a priest and a victim. He enters daily into Jesus’ sacrifice to gain the strength to die to self for the sake of others.

Eventually, it was my turn to carry the Monstrance through the thick and sticky air. I saw my reflection framed by the Host as I took each heavy and labored step. I and the several hundred others who processed were able to offer “our bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God, [our] spiritual worship.” I'm sure that to some, we were “an object of laughter.” But it was worth it. “For the foolishness of God is wiser than men, and the weakness of God is stronger than men.” Maybe just maybe, one soul was strengthened against doubt in God’s mercy. Maybe one person was inspired to go back to Confession and Mass. Even if just one person was better off for our sacrifice, it was worth it. The same is true in the Christian life and in the seminary. All the challenges, toil, heartbreak, suffering, and sacrifices will seem as though nothing if we persevere in God’s grace.

Let's all resolve to gaze, “toward God in the sanctuary to see His power and His glory.” Let’s all reach the end of our human strength so that God’s power might be made more apparent. May we truly say of ourselves every day, “My soul clings fast to you; Your right hand upholds me.”